Saturday, January 10, 2009

Toe Nibbling

I live, eat, breathe and sleep Grace. I find immense joy in nibbling on her toes and legs, kissing her fingers and brushing her hair. I have turned into one of THOSE mothers.... and I couldn't be happier! I think I'm getting too used to being here in the hospital, I honestly could not imagine what it would be like to have a child come directly home- it would freak me out! I find myself washing my hands 100 times per day, even when I'm leaving! Someone (usually my mom) will ask me why I'm washing my hands to go to the bathroom- it's just a force of habit now! I wash to leave, wash to come back, wash to touch her, wash to nap, etc., etc., etc.

We left the campus tonight for a brief while to get some groceries and toiletries- it was awful! All I thought about was all the germs out in the real world and how badly I wanted to be back with my little girl. When we got back to the Ronald McDonald House one of the kids kept me company to keep my mind off of Grace for the little while I would be away. Robert is an amazing kid- he's 11 years old, in 5th grade and has already had a kidney transplant! He's full of life and energy and is so very sweet. Robert told me all about his life, and after being here off and on since birth, he's finally going home. I cannot even imagine! Grace will have a similar experience and I hope that she too brightens someone's day. Grace will come to know all of the nurses, doctors, therapists and other families that have come to be like family to us. The people here are amazing- it's like walking into an episode of the Twilight Zone, so unreal how great everybody is! Grace is constantly spoiled- this litter girl has a million stuffed animals, and seems to gain them by the minute from friends, family, hospital staff, volunteers and donation! While the situation is certainly not one I would have chosen for our family, we've been so blessed to be able to have met all of these people and we truly have learned to appreciate every single moment of every single day. There are times when I get angry at the world about this- but then I think about the alternatives... this pain of going through this is actually a blessing- a blessing I've asked for the last 10 years! My Master's program is supposed to start on Monday and all I can say is YEAH RIGHT!!! The thought of adding that to my already full plate is downright hilarious! The most important thing I've learned- God has a plan for all of us and sometimes it's not exactly the way we planned or arranged- be ready for anything!!

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