We were told surgery would probably be Wednesday, but no one would give us a clear answer. Everyone kept saying that we would have to wait for the cardiac conference Monday morning to find out exactly... so we waited, and waited, and waited and waited, and waited.... until 5 pm and I could take it no more. I walked up to the surgeon and begged him to give me a day or time, to which he answered nonchalantly that it would be Wed. afternoon most likely. He acted as if we should have known this all along... UGH! So, we're thinking Wednesday, and if it changes, I don't care anymore. I cannot spend my sanity stressing over this!
My father is flying in to be here with me tomorrow evening. I'm looking forward to a really big hug, and a reassuring voice from him. I told my mom tonight that they were obviously both my parents, because when I'm stressed out to the max, I need both of their perspectives, both of their voices, both of their hugs- they make me feel safe, and home, which at this moment, I really need!
I've had a hard time with this hospital stay, and I feel bad, because I'm such a people-pleaser. So many friends have asked if they could be here to support us during the surgery, or even come visit before or after, but we've been turning everyone away. This breaks my heart!! It's just so stressful and busy for us, we're just trying to stay low-key, and keep it quiet. Plus, when others visit, we feel the need to entertain, which we know is absolutely not the case, but we feel guilty if we're ignoring our friends.... such a conundrum! After the surgery will be bad too, as we're having to stay away from those who have kids, especially those in daycare. Any sickness, especially as we drift into RSV season, is life-threatening post heart surgery. So, we begin our months as loners again, until Grace shows us she's ready...
I have spent every night on the hospital couch- so very uncomfortable! Two nights ago we were able to secure a room @ the Ronald McDonald house off campus, but since it's a good 10 minutes away, I chose to stay with Grace. Last night, I was almost going to switch with Felix, but since we're in such a bad, scary neighborhood, I thought it better to let Felix go there. Today, we were SO LUCKY! We got transferred to the campus house, and were blessed to get an apartment!! This means we can eat and cook in our room- yee-haw! That rocks, seriously. I cannot tell you how awkward it is to come back to a house full of strangers, sit down with them, especially after a difficult day, and eat dinner. In the regular rooms, food and drink are not allowed- which when you're on the 4th floor, is pretty awful.
I'm really looking forward to a good night's sleep tonight- I really need it.
So... care packages! So many of you have asked what we want/need.... We don't need them all at the same time, in fact, we would benefit greatly from them continuing to come after we've come home.
Ideas:
Dinner (Once home)
Movie Rentals (Once home)
Lending us TV show DVD's or Movies
Snacks
Drinks
Meal Ingredients
Magazines
Crosswords, Sudoku, etc.
Gum
A friendly text message
A sweet note
Be creative- we love even just hearing from you!
On the day of the surgery, we're asking for patience from friends and family. It's going to be a LONG procedure (4-6 hours) and it will only stress us out more to get text messages and phone calls asking for updates. We will update everyone as soon as we can, and as soon as we know. Remember, we're waiting to hear too!
Keep praying, if you're religious. Keep thinking positive thoughts and sending them our way. Light a candle for Grace. Hope for a speedy recovery.
I will update more as I know, but I really want to thank everyone for the continued outpouring of support, love and prayers.
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