The Art of Breast Milk

Another great relaxing day today! I saw the endocrinologist today about breastfeeding- I will be taking so many hormones!! Poor Felix, he'll have to put up with me over the next few months. The hormones and medications and herbs will "fake" my body into thinking it's pregnant over the next 5 weeks, and along with pumping, I should be able to generate some milk. We'll see- fingers crossed! For now Grace is on donor breast milk that the hospital is supplying- thank God for the power of prayer! Felix and I practiced "Kangaroo Care" today. Apparently, it's a type of care where the baby lays on the bare chest of a parent to increase bonding, growth, stability, etc. I had to sit still for approximately 3 hours- but it was so worth it! I could actually feel my energy being taken by her, but I didn't mind, I had lots to give. I'm officially whooped tonight, but looking forward to another quiet day at the hospital. Grace's surgery is going to happen within the next 2 weeks. Grandma and Grandpa from Wisconsin fly out next week Saturday and Sunday is my baby shower. :) Looks like a great week ahead.

Brown Eyed Girl

Grace's central line was succesfully placed into her arm! Grace was slightly medicated in order to get the IV installed, and she was sound asleep when we got to the hospital around 12:30 pm. We grabbed some lunch and upon our arrival we heard our little girl fussing. Together Felix, myself and her nurse calmed her down, changed her dirty diaper and relaxed her. Once she relaxed, she opened her eyes for the very first time. Grace has beautiful brown eyes! We are hoping that we'll see more of our Brown-Eyed Girl's eyes in the coming days.

Spilled Flower Water

While out buying flowers and a card for Grace's birthmom, we received a phone call from her sister instructing us to get to Phoenix Children's Hospital ASAP. I panicked, running out of Safeway without paying for the items and knocking down the flower vase filled with water in the process. We ran to the car and drove away as fast as we possibly could. During the drive, we were called back and told to come to the original hospital and that the doctors would explain more. At the hospital we were told that they had discovered a tiny heart murmur which led them to believe that Grace had a potential heart defect. Because of the seriousness of the defect, Grace was going to be life-flighted by helicopter to Phoenix Children's Hospital.

We tried to stay calm amidst the stressful situation and left for PCH (Phoenix Children's Hospital) to be with Grace. At PCH Grace was placed in their NICU and doctors and cardiologists closely examined her and performed echo cardiograms.

Grace was diagnosed with Pulmonary Atresia with VSD, also known as Tetralogy of Fallot. PCH performs surgeries for this type of birth defect 100's of times per year, but because of her low birth weight there was some concern. Over the next two weeks they would be working on getting Grace to gain weight as furiously as possible, with her first surgery taking place as early as 2 weeks from her birth date.

She's Here!

Danelle had been having some pre-term labor and we had spent many a night at the hospital. They had given her anti-labor meds, but she didn't like they way they made her feel. On our final few nights in the hospital, they thought the baby was going to come- way too early. They gave Danelle the steroid shots to help develop Grace's lungs, just in case. Danelle apparently checked herself out AMA (Against Medical Advice), but we weren't aware- thinking she had been discharged.

I went to work December 1st like any normal day. After work I went with Jeff, Kelly and Felix to Target @ Lake Pleasant to do some last minute Christmas decor purchases. Danelle called while we were there and told me that she thought she may have eaten some rotten linguica- and her tummy was really hurting. I suggested that it could be labor, but Danelle didn't think so. So, we went about our shopping and then went home. Felix was a nervous wreck- he got in the shower, packed a suitcase, and packed baby stuff. I thought he was nuts- he swore he just had a "feeling" that Grace was going to be born tonight. At 10 pm, we got the call from Danelle. Her water broke and the ambulance was on the way. By the time we got to the hospital, Danelle was dilated 10 cm, and was getting prepped for an emergency C-section. Grace was coming- NOW! Jennifer, Danelle's sister, was going to be in the delivery/op room with Danelle, but she hadn't arrived yet. They dressed me in scrubs and just as they were wheeling Danelle away, Jenny came running in. I quickly exchanged clothing with Jenny- here are some funny photos!

Grace was born @ 11:49 pm. She weighed 3 pounds, 6.3 ounces. She scored a 9 and 10 on her Apgar scores. We were over the moon- we were finally parents!! We had no idea what was ahead for us...

Blind Date

I survived dinner- and had fun! Felix and I, along with our friend's children had dinner with Danelle's sister, Jennifer and her husband Chris. Jennifer's five children, along with several of Danelle's siblings were there, and I got a chance to see the family in action. Everyone is very supportive of the adoption plan and it seems as though everything is going along super smoothly. Danelle brought us a gift that night- a bag filled with six different outfits, two pairs of shoes and socks, a container for baby's first curl and tooth, and a parenting magazine. It's awesome- my first baby girl items! The gift showed us that she's committed as well, which we didn't doubt, but it's always nice to have some reassuring. The next day my neighbor brought me over another new girl onesie- I'm spoiled rotten!

Danelle called a few nights ago needing a ride somewhere, as I made her promise me that she would call me with any concerns, questions, needs, etc. I went to pick her up and got to meet her current boyfriend- he's very nice. I completely approve!

Tonight, Felix and I head to the stores for baby registry. I'm giddy, nervous, excited, etc. I feel like I eat, drink, sleep and think baby, 24 hours a day. I FINALLY have pregnancy head! :) Stay tuned- it appears as though we'll be registering at Babies-R-Us and Pottery Barn Kids.

Wisdom @ Work

A friend at work sent me this quote, and I wanted to share- it really speaks to me during this situation.

"Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't, and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it."

Plan Interrupted

Whew! What a few months it has been.... In month four of Danelle's pregnancy we had some weird things occur that led us to investigate her a bit more thoroughly. I would call Danelle to check in with her, and she would be asleep until 1 or 2 pm each and every day- and sounded so bitchy and out of it whenever we spoke. Often times, I would call her home phone and a random guy would answer, telling me that Danelle wasn't home (at 10pm!!) even though I could hear her two boys crying in the background. Eventually, I called again and some guy asked me if I wanted to come over to her house to party.... I talked with my family about the experiences and one person brought up drug use. I was so desperate to believe that it wasn't true, that I put it out of my mind for some time. Eventually, Felix and I agreed that we needed to know- especially if it was something far worse than we expected. Because Danelle had signed over Medical Power of Attorney I called her physician and explained my concerns and asked for a random drug test. Three days later we heard back- positive for methamphetamine, marijuana, alcohol and nicotine. I was heartbroken! After researching possible complications and speaking with the doctor, we agreed to back out of the adoption process- it broke our hearts, but it felt like the right thing to do at the time. We went to Danelle's house to tell her in person. She was IRATE! She couldn't believe that the doctor would tell us, as it was her private information. She threatened to sue the doctor. Over and over again, I simply asked- "Is it true?" And she never denied it.... We told her it would be best if she found another family to adopt her child. She called us later that day, asking if we really wanted to back out, as she had found another family, but she didn't like them as much. We again emphasized that we didn't want to proceed. I moped for WEEKS! I never really felt like I would get over this....

Fast forward two months, and we decided to reconsider. We've hoped and prayed, talked and thought and this really is a blessing- one we're so thankful for! So, in January we'll be the proud parents of.... wait for it.... a baby girl!!!

The next doctor's appointment will be on October 10th. We're so excited, nervous and anxious- there is just so much left to do- we have to paint, decorate, stock up on diapers, buy a bed set, etc. Who knew that picking a car seat could be more difficult than picking out a wedding dress?!? As much as I complain, I'm really filled with bliss and feel quite lucky and blessed to be able to whine about these things. It is like finally being part of a club that I've heard so much about. I'm having dinner with Danelle's sister and family tomorrow evening- it's almost like a blind date- I'm nervous as a school girl! I'll keep you updated. Signing off for now...